


How Can I Love You?

by Anonymous



Series: Fuck It I Love You [2]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Drinking, Fluff, I didn’t think there would be this much angst yet here we are, I’m gonna add more tags as I go, M/M, Maggie Tozier is a Good Mom, Rated T for Trashmouth, Reddie, Richie cries a lot and that’s okay, Richie smokes blunts, might add more relationships but idk, sadly I have no personal experience with blunts so if I fuck this up yeah, the homoerotocism of having your friend light your blunt for you, they’re in love your honor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22763746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: The high school au of Richie Tozier falling head-over-heels for one Eddie Kaspbrak, now with more angst!
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: Fuck It I Love You [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636621
Comments: 6
Kudos: 52
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title is How Can I Love You? by Yellow Days because I’m gay and can’t think of titles.
> 
> Series title is Fuck It I Love You by Lana Del Rey for the same reason.

One of Richie’s mantras was that “as long as you’re there before lunch, you’re on time”. He lived by this religiously, which is how he found himself bopping down the street trying to get to school before it was time to eat. Richie had slept through his alarm and when he woke up he decided that it wasn’t worth it to go to first period. Obviously, getting high was the next best idea. After hotboxing his bathroom and smoking for a bit, he decided he was high enough for school. Usually he took his bike, but Richie didn’t trust himself to use anything besides his legs to get him anywhere, and even those were slightly unreliable. One time he was walking while high and then became hyper focused on his legs. His knees locked up and he face-planted onto his mother’s garden. She screamed at him for a bit and then walked off muttering how much better a girl would have been. Richie thought it was real chuckalicious and decided to walk high more often.

Richie threw his backpack over the fence behind the gym before climbing over himself. He didn’t want to get busted by the resident security guard Frank, even if he was old and fat and Richie could (probably) outrun him. Richie Tozier was a man who took no chances, which included the chance that Frank would grab him, smell weed, and call his parents. Better to play it safe and scrape some knees instead. While walking to class, he was almost positive it was English, Richie began to whistle the tune to “Kookie Kookie”. It was one of Stan’s favorite songs and he regularly got it stuck in the taller boy’s head.

Pulling open the door to Ms. Hopkin’s, Richie stopped whistling. Ms. Hopkin and the rest of the class turned to see who had entered. Richie saw his teacher’s face fall into one of disappointment.

“Mr. Tozier, welcome to English. I suppose you had a grand old time wherever you were before this?” Ms. Hopkin stared at him, daring him to reply. Richie accepted.

“Of course Ms. Hopkin, only the most important. You see, my father is a dentist and he recently instilled the fear in me that my teeth must be clean at any cost. So I decided the best course of action was to mercilessly clean my teeth until they sparkled. See?” Richie gave her a big grin. She sighed.

“Sit down, Tozier. I don’t want to find that you’ve been late to my class one more time or I’m calling your parents.”

“Sure thing, miss.” Richie sauntered down the aisles to his seat in the back, smiling at Eddie as he passed. Eddie just rolled his eyes at him and went back to taking notes. Richie noted his light pink polo with a tiny train on it and smiled. God, Eds was cute. Ever since 13, Richie’s love for Eddie had only grown. Eddie of course, was oblivious to this. The rest of The Losers, not so much. Bill knew, obviously. Richie had told him in a dramatic incident at The Quarry. Stan cornered him one day and asked if Richie was a homosexual. Richie replied in what he thought was a pretty good Freddie Mercury accent with “Now darling, don’t you think it’s too limiting to only be a homosexual,” and Stan got the picture. He knew Mike had his suspicions, although Richie supposed Mike had a lot of suspicions towards Bill and Stan, too. Hopeful suspicions. Not that that was any of Richie’s business though. He supposed Ben probably knew nothing, he was always so oblivious to everything related to love. He had told Bev himself, the two of them were high off their asses behind the laundromat one day and he had confessed to her that he was madly in love with Eddie, and had been for some time. Bev replied that she knew, like the smartass she was. 

Richie was snapped out of his gaydream by the girl in front of him whose name he’d never bothered to learn throwing a note on his desk. It was folded up tight, with “Richie'' written on it in neat handwriting. Unfolding it carefully, he read “Where were you? Thought you died. By the way you smell like weed.” Richie grinned, pulling out a pen to reply to Eddie. “Busy fucking your mom. Took a while, she’s very demanding.” He drew a tiny heart at the end, folded it up making sure to follow the creases, and passed it back up. Richie put his head in his hand and looked up the aisle, watching Eddie’s expression. Unfolding the letter, Richie watched Eddie’s face turn a bright red. He crumpled the paper up and threw it into his backpack. Richie grinned. Success.

The bell rang, causing Richie to jump in his seat. That goddamn bell never failed to scare the shit out of him. Grabbing his backpack, Richie followed the flow of students to the cafeteria. He grabbed a hot dog, apple, orange juice, and two brownies. After studying their size for a second he grabbed another. Being as high as he was came with some downfalls, like being extremely hungry all the time.

“I thought you were finally starting to protect your teeth. All that sugar’s going to wreck your enamel.” Richie turned, already knowing who spoke.

“You see Eds, being as tall as I am comes with some setbacks. I’m still a growing boy and I need my nutrients.” Eddie glared at him. “Besides, why are you in this line? Doesn’t your mom pack a lunch for you?”

“Yes, because the school food is an abomination. Have you seen the kitchens? I doubt they’d pass a health inspection.” Eddie tended to get very agitated about food safety and food prep, because it affected what went into his body. I could think of another thing that could go in your body, Richie thought to himself. He grinned at his clever joke.

“Yum, Kaspbrak. Can’t wait to eat up all these germs. Did you know that germs are at the base of the food pyramid? There’s actually a secret fifth layer at the bottom that says germs.”

“You’re a fucking menace and a danger to society,” Eddie shot at him.

“Just a danger to your mom, Eds.” Eddie spluttered as Richie paid for his food, and the two of them waded through sweat, Axe Body Spray, and perfume to find the Losers. Richie slid into the bench and tugged on one of Stan’s curls.

“Hello ladies, how are we feeling today?” Richie bit into his apple and stared at it, contemplating the bite marks. He felt pretty damn high.

“He’s high as shit,” Eddie informed the group. “Showed up to class five minutes before it ended.”

Stan wrinkled his nose. “I can smell the weed off of you dipshit, how much did you smoke?”

“Enough,” Richie responded before taking another bite of his apple. “Hey Bev got a smoke? I’m dying over here.”

“Nope, smoked my last one this morning. My aunt keeps finding all my secret stashes.” Beverly turned to the rest of the group. “By the way, there’s a party tonight at some footballer’s house. You guys want to go? There’s gonna be booze.” Richie grinned at the redhead.

“Marsh, you know me so well.”

“I know Richie. Maybe you’ll even be lucky enough to get some action!”

“The day Ruh-Richie gets s-some action is the duh-day hell freezes over,” Bill commented.

Richie threw his hand over his forehead in fake shock. “Billiam! How could you! Didn’t you hear the rumors that I got it on with Kelly Broick on the field trip to the zoo freshman year? You can’t fake those kinds of stories.”

“They’re ruh-rumors for a reason, d-dumbass,” Bill shot back.

“Why so scared Bill? Scared you won’t get any action either?” Richie stared down Bill and let a faint smile slip onto his face. None of the other Losers noticed, but Richie saw Bill’s eyes darting around the table, landing on Stan and Mike briefly before shooting back to glare down Richie.

“A-as a matter of fact Ruh-Richie, I’m very secure in my a-ability to get a-action.”

Stan snorted into his juice and Bill glared at him, his face flushed in embarrassment.

Richie shrugged. “Whatever you say Big Bill.” Slowly picking up his hot dog, he pulled the dog out of the bun and stared down Bill as he began to deep throat it. The table erupted in disgust.

“Richie what the fuck do you think you’re doing oh my god!” Eddie shouted. Stan just stared at him with a strange look on his face, like disgust mixed with...desire? Ben and Mike blushed like little girls playing Spin the Bottle for the first time and having the bottle land on their crush. Beverly stared at him with a slight smile on her face; she understood. Richie turned to look at Bill, who’s face had scrunched up in disgust.

“Really Ruh-Richie? Real c-classy.”

Pulling the hot dog out of his mouth, he massaged his throat and grinned at the table.

“Example of the kind of action you’ll be getting tonight, Tozier?” Beverly asked casually.

“Except which end is he on?” Stan mused.

Richie gasped in fake shock. “Staniel, are you suggesting that I am a homosexual?” Stan just stared at him with a look that said “I know your secret and you aren’t very good at keeping it”. Richie accepted that judgement and bit into his hot dog. Everyone at the table groaned.

“That looks like a fun night,” Beverly commented.

“You know it babe.”

“So Beverly,” Ben interjected, “What’s the deal with the party tonight?”

“I’m so very glad you asked Ben,” Beverly replied. As she gave the boys the details, Richie zoned out. He could feel himself starting to come down from his high. He itched to excuse himself to the bathroom and get high again.

Muttering a “S’cuse me, gotta take a leak,” Richie threw his brownies into his backpack and weaved his way through the cafeteria to the bathroom.

“Wait up asshole!” Richie turned his head slowly to see Eddie running after him. “Did you get any of the party details?” He asked.

“Nope,” Richie replied. He pushed the door open to the bathroom and glared at some freshman boys until they scattered. Stepping into the handicapped stall which Richie knew was only used by stoners and kids having sex, he pulled a blunt and a lighter out of his backpack.

“You said you had to use the bathroom!” Eddie exclaimed.

“Yeah well I lied. I do that a lot.”

“Why on earth are you getting high at school, do you know what could happen if you get caught?” Eddie paced back and forth in the stall with his hands gripping his backpack straps and occasionally making small gestures with them.

“Mhm.” Richie stuck the blunt in his mouth and held the lighter to the tip. After a couple seconds, he cursed and flicked the lighter closed. His hands wouldn’t stop shaking. “Hey Eds, mind helping a fella out?” As Eddie turned to look at him, Richie held his lighter out to the smaller boy.

“Why the fuck would I light your nasty blunt if it’s so bad for you? What if I get caught lighting it? Wha-what if I get caught just being here? I could be an accomplice to your illicit behavior!” Richie snorted and gave no attempt to stifle his laughter.

“Illicit behavior? You sound like my fucking mom Eds.”

“This is no laughing matter dickwad this is serious stuff!” With a sudden move, Richie placed his hand on Eddie’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.

“Hey, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. You can walk right out of here and sit back down at that table and act like none of this ever happened. Or, you can light my blunt for me and be a possible accomplice in an act that would make your mother ashamed.”

Eddie considered his two options. “Fuck my mom, hand me the lighter.”

Richie grinned. “That’s the spirit!” Sticking the blunt back in his mouth, Richie handed the lighter to Eddie and crouched slightly to be eye-level with the smaller boy.

Eddie flicked the lighter open with a steady hand and held the flame to the tip of Richie’s blunt. Richie inhaled deeply and exhaled with a smile. “Thanks Eds I needed that.” Eddie frowned at him.

“This is gonna kill you one day.”

“Oh I know.” Richie sat on the bathroom floor and continued to smoke silently. He felt like there was a pair of piercing eyes staring him down, peeling back his layers. Looking up, Richie saw Eddie staring at him intensely. “What? Something on my face?”

“Can I...can I try it?”

“Damn Eds Spagheds! Fuck your mom, am I right?”

“Yeah sure. How does this work?”

Richie held his blunt up to Eddie’s mouth. “Breathe in.” Eddie leaned forward and took a deep breath in, coughing instantly. Richie pounded him on the back fiercely while Eddie grabbed his aspirator and triggered a blast of flavored air.

“Eddie blasts off!” The shorter boy glared at him with watery eyes. “Shit. Sorry Eds.”

“You know I hate it when you call me that.”

“I know, it’s just you’re so cute I can’t help it.” Richie pinched one of Eddie’s cheeks and pulled. “Look at that! And perfect teeth. My dad would be proud.”

“Fuck you.” Eddie began to stand up but Richie grabbed his hand, feeling himself blush.

“Hey I’m sorry. I know I can be an asshole sometimes.”

Eddie scoffed. “Sometimes?”

“Alright sue me. All the time.”

Eddie gave the taller boy a soft smile. “Tonight at 7:00. 729 Elm street. You better show or I’m gonna come to your house and murder you.”

Richie chuckled. “Alright Eds—shit. Eddie. Alright Eddie.” Richie tasted the name on his tongue. It sounded foreign, grownup even. Like soon he would be forced to call him Edward, and they would finally be separated for good. “I—”

Bring!

That goddamn bell.

“I’ll see you later Richie.” Eddie gave him a little wave and left the stall. Richie waited for the sound of the bathroom door swinging closed before resting his head on the toilet. Taking another hit of his blunt, he sighed. Picking his stuff up and flushing his blunt, Richie skipped the rest of school. He was too high to concentrate. At least that’s what he told himself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Party time babey.

Staring at the gorgeous white house, Richie already knew he regretted his decision to go to some random party. He loved Beverly, but sometimes she had some weird friends. Not to say that Richie and the rest of the Losers weren’t weird, but he digressed.

Some families, like Richie’s, made decent money. Others could probably afford to live in Hollywood with movie stars and still have money to spare for another house in Derry. This house was an example of the latter family.

Kids were showing up in droves, beer and weed in tow. A couple of them got turned away at the door and left cursing. Richie got closer and saw the reason for so many pissed off teenagers. There was a sophomore footballer who always got benched playing bouncer like if he was good enough at it they’d finally let him play. Richie was tempted to break the news to him that that would never happen, but he didn’t want to get kicked out of the party just yet.

“Who are you?” The bouncer asked.

“Richie Tozier, got an invite from Bev.”

“Fine. Although if you cause a scene I’m kicking you out.”

“You couldn’t take me on,” Richie mumbled.

“What did you say punk?” He spit.

“Nothing, have fun kicking kids out.” Richie gave the boy a lazy salute and walked inside.

Immediately, a very drunk Beverly threw one arm around Richie’s shoulders.

“Richie! So glad you could come, for a second I thought you got cold feet and decided not to show!” Beverly’s words were slurred, and her half empty cup sloshed with an unknown liquid that smelled a lot like rum and coke.

“Hey Bevvie! Yeah the dude at the front gave me some trouble but I’m here now.” Richie gripped Bev’s arm in an attempt to keep her from falling over. “How long have you been here for hun?”

“Long enough to get fucking smashed.” Beverly giggled.

“Maybe it’s time to cut you off, what do you think?” Richie grabbed her cup and chugged. “Blegh,” Richie stuck his tongue out. Definitely rum and coke. Turning to Beverly, he asked “Hey do you wanna come with me to get a beer?” Richie didn’t trust Beverly to be alone at a party when she was one step away from falling on her face.

“Sure thing Dick,” she answered. Richie spluttered.

“Excuse me?”

“Dick, cause it’s a nickname for Richard. Get it?” Beverly giggled again and began to wind her fingers through Richie’s hair. She tried to press a kiss to Richie’s lips but he pulled back.

“You’re smashed hun, you don’t really know what you’re doing.” Beverly whined.

“But I’m looonely Richie. I need companionship.”

“And you can find companionship when you’re sober, but right now you’re wasted and nothing good comes out of wasted sex.”

“You never know Richie, I’ve had some pretty good—”

“I’m gonna stop you right there before you expose way too much of yourself to me.” Richie steered Beverly over towards the makeshift bar where the girl from Richie’s English class stood mixing drinks. Richie raised his free hand in greeting. “Hey! Uh…”

“Kay,” the girl told him.

“Kay. That’s it. Could I get a beer?” Richie placed Beverly’s empty cup on the counter as Kay filled up a new cup.

She handed Richie’s beer to him and gestured to Beverly. “She your girlfriend?” Richie snorted.

“Nope. We’re just friends.” Richie and Beverly tended to get that assumption a lot, but they were used to it. The two of them had a close connection that most people interpreted as romantic. In a way it was romantic, but they would never be more than friends.

“Friends with benefits,” Beverly mumbled. Richie chuckled.

“Yeah I gotta get her to a couch or something she’s gonna pass out.”

“You into that guy in our English class? Edward?” Richie had decided to take a sip of his beer then and promptly did a spit take.

“Excuse me? What gave you that assumption?” Richie started to panic. Nobody was ever supposed to know except for his closest friends. Did she even know what could happen if rumors got out? No, he couldn’t go through that again.

“It’s okay dude, I won’t tell. I’m in a similar situation.” She gave a soft smile.

“What, you’re in love with Eddie too?” Richie was confused.

“No, dumbass. I’m in love with a girl.” He stared in shock. “Tell anyone and I’ll break your kneecaps.” Richie gulped. He knew she wasn’t kidding. “I could, y’know, watch her for you.” He stared blankly at Kay and she rolled her eyes. “I could stick your friend behind the bar and keep her safe. No one’s gonna come back here.”

“Oh! Yeah, sure that’d be great.” Richie turned to Beverly. “What d'ya say Bevvie, you up to sitting behind the bar? I’ll come get you soon.”

“M’kay, if I can sleep.” Beverly sounded exhausted.

“Of course, and I’ll only wake you up if I have to.” Richie grinned at Beverly and planted a quick kiss on her cheek before leading her behind the bar and helping her sit down.

“Bye Richie,” Beverly gave him a childlike wave and curled up on the floor. Kay smiled at him as Richie gave her thumbs up before continuing further into the party.

~~~

Wandering through the party beer in hand, Richie started to see the appeal. You could get shitfaced with a bunch of other teenagers and forget about your problems for a bit. Of course, Richie seemed to do that every day. Now it was just easier and he could get even more shitfaced than usual. Every once in a while he’d pass a group of stoners and snag a few hits from them. It was nice, being drunk and high at the same time. He was completely relaxed ,had no idea what was going on, and barely knew his name, but that was okay.

Richie managed to stumble upon the rest of the Losers sitting on a couch together with some girls. Immediately, Richie became very aware that there was a girl flirting with Eddie. Hardcore flirting. Pulling her shorts up and her shirt down, tracing lines up Eddie’s leg, hell, she practically oozed “fuck me” energy. Strangely, Eddie seemed sort of into it.

Richie plopped on the couch between Stan and Ben and continued to drink.

“How have you been, party boy?” Stan asked.

“You know,” Richie slurred, “I think I’m starting to enjoy these things. I can see the appeal.”

“Hey Richie have you seen Beverly lately?” Ben asked worriedly.

“Oh yeah she was shitfaced when I got here so I left her behind the bar with a girl I know. Don’t worry she’s fine, she’s taking a nap.” Ben gaped in shock.

“Y-You left her, behind a bar, with a random girl?”

“She’s not random, I have English with her. Don’t worry about it.” Ben gave him a worried look but decided to drop the conversation.

Richie turned his attention back to Eddie. The girl was still flirting, and he was flirting back.

“Hey Eddie, what’re you drinking?” She asked.

“Mai Tai, do you want to try it?” She nodded and he handed his cup over where she took a sip and smiled. Licking her lips, she handed the cup back.

“Mmm, delicious. But I think I want to get a better taste.”

The girl leaned, her auburn hair falling in front of her face. And Eddie leaned in too. Richie watched in abject horror as their lips met. Clearly, the girl was an expert kisser as she parted Eddie’s lips with her own and flicked at his teeth with her tongue. It was also clear to Richie that Eddie didn’t know what he was doing. He sat there with his mouth slightly parted, allowing her to do whatever she wanted. When she grabbed Eddie’s upper thigh, Richie felt sick. Pushing himself up, Richie stumbled towards Eddie. He never made it there, because Richie vomited down the front of his t-shirt as soon as Eddie grabbed her waist.

Eddie pulled away suddenly and whipped his head around. “What the FUCK Richie?” Flecks of vomit had flown onto Eddie’s legs and the girl’s hair, and before Richie could reply the girl had ran off crying, probably over her hair.

“I—I’m so sorry I didn't mean to do that, I’ve just had a lot to drink and smoke and I guess it all got to me.” Richie felt his heart sink. The love of his life was glaring at him like he had just killed his cat or something.

“Eddie go clean him up in the bathroom,” Stan called from the couch. Eddie spluttered.

“He just fucking vomited on me, there’s no way I’m cleaning him!”

“Then clean yourself too, if you’re so concerned. But Richie smells disgusting right now.” Eddie glared at Stan before turning to glare at Richie.

“Come on, then.” Eddie curled a finger towards Richie and he followed the smaller boy into a bathroom that by some miracle was unoccupied.

Eddie turned to face Richie and crossed his arms. “Alright, shirt off.” Richie stared at him, confused. Eddie sighed. “Do you want me to do it for you?” Richie had the sudden thought that yes, he did want Eddie to take his shirt off, and maybe his pants too, but he managed to refrain from making any inappropriate comments towards Eddie at the current moment. The hypochondriac was pissed, and Richie was already on his bad side.

Richie pulled his shirt off, not caring if he got vomit on his hands. Eddie wrinkled his nose at him and motioned for Richie to throw the shirt into the sink. Eddie began to toe his shoes and socks off before turning the shower on and sticking his legs in.

As Eddie washed vomit off of his legs, Richie stared in awe. Eddie was wearing shorts—not the usual tiny red shorts, but short enough to expose a decent amount of thigh. Not to mention Richie’s possible obsession with Eddie’s feet; he was always shoving them in Richie’s face when they were younger. And those calves? Every day Richie thanked whatever god there was that Eddie ran track. His sculpted thighs made Richie weak in the knees. How many times had he wished his head was in between those thighs? Too many to count.

Turning the water off, Eddie turned around to see Richie staring at him.

“What dickwad?” Oh no, Eddie sounded annoyed.

“Umm, nothing.” Nice save.

Eddie sighed and plugged the sink before filling it with water to soak Richie’s shirt. Richie noticed a slight red tint on Eddie’s cheeks and smiled.

“So Eds, who’s the girl?”

“You know I hate it when you call me Eds.” Richie stared at the other boy and waited. Eddie sighed, defeated. “Her name’s Sarah. She’s in my math class.” Richie raised an eyebrow.

“Does she always flirt with you?”

“Not really, probably just drunk. Not really my type either.”

“Were you drunk too?”

“Still am, dumbass. But I’m not going to vomit on myself.” Richie winced.

“Sorry.” Eddie hummed an apology and began to scrub at Richie’s shirt with a bar of soap. Sensing the tension in the room, Richie pulled out a blunt. He lit it and stuck it in his mouth, grateful for the calming smoke that filled his lungs. Eddie scrunched his nose at him, but continued to scrub silently.

“Hey Eddie.”

“Yeah?”

“What is your type? If it isn’t Sarah.” Pinching his thigh, Richie waited in anticipation. Please say guys please say guys please say guys. Eddie snorted.

“Wouldn’t you like to know. Who knows, maybe I really don’t have a type and I’m willing to just fuck anyone. Oh wait, that's you.” Richie grabbed his chest at the scathing reply.

“You wound me Eds.” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“So, do you have a type or are you constantly a horny monster?”

“If you must know, I do in fact have a type.” Richie paused. This could be his chance. But what if he fucked it up? Did the pros outway the cons or was he about to lose his best friend? Taking another hit for courage, Richie chose his words carefully, which was a rarity for him. “I’m…” he sighed and looked down. “I do like girls. I like a lot of girls in fact. But…” Eddie raised an eyebrow at him.

“But?”

“But, once in a while I find myself interested in a guy. Well, one guy in particular. He wears these super short shorts with a fanny pack like a dumbass, but it’s strangely endearing. He acts like he hates me a lot of the time and I probably annoy the shit out of him, but I really do love him. I’ve loved him since I’ve known him, hell, sometimes it feels like I’ve loved him since I was first created. Like there’s always been a spot in my heart for him and him only. And his name… his name is Eddie Kaspbrak.”

Richie forced his eyes up to meet Eddie’s. He had stopped scrubbing Richie’s shirt long ago, and now stared into the vomit-filled water as he gripped the shirt. Tears formed at the corners of his eyes and splashed into the water. Plink, plink, plink.

“How dare you.” Eddie’s voice shook. “How dare you say those things to me. It’s one thing to call me by an annoying nickname, or joke about fucking my mom, or anything else! But playing with my feelings like that? When you know I’m gay and I’ve tried every day of my goddamn life to repress that until Richie-fucking-Tozier showed up and decided it would be funny to mess with me. You are a cruel and awful person, and I hope you burn in fucking hell.” Eddie stormed out of the bathroom, refusing to make eye contact with Richie.

Collapsing to the ground in shock, Richie took another hit while staring at the tacky flower print shower curtains. He sighed shakily and let his head fall between his knees. Richie’s face was wet, and he tasted salt. Strangely, he felt nothing. Just an emptiness, like Eddie had ripped out his heart before leaving. A loud banging noise that Richie identified as knocking ripped through his empty chest as he stood, grabbing the sink corner for stability. He grabbed his shirt, still soaking wet and smelling of vomit. 

Leaving the bathroom and wandering the house while taking an occasional hit from his blunt, Richie seemed empty. There was no heart beating in his chest and no thoughts in his head. Just a husk. That’s all he deserved, really. To wander around aimlessly forever, drinking and smoking and making a mess of himself.

Well, there was one thought in his head.

Eddie was gay. He was into men. And Richie was into him.

Stumbling back to the bar, Richie noticed that Kay had vanished. He knocked on the table. “Hello? Kay? You there? Please don’t tell me you left Bev alone.”

Kay shot up from behind the bar and placed an elbow on the table. “Well well well, the mystery man himself returns. What can I do for you?”

“Uhh, I’d like my friend back if that’s okay with you. I’m heading home and I don’t want her to be stuck here.” He noticed that Kay’s lipstick was smeared and she had marks on her neck. Richie decided not to mention it.

Kay ducked back under the bar and pulled Beverly up, who grinned at him.

“Hey Richie, what’ve you been up to?”

“Oh the usual. Vomiting, breaking people’s hearts, etc.” Kay raised an eyebrow at him.

“Is that why you aren’t wearing a shirt?” Richie nodded and held up his smelly shirt. The girls wrinkled their noses at the smell as Kay led Beverly around the bar table.

Wrapping an arm around Beverly’s shoulders, Richie waved at Kay with his shirt as he led his friend outside. The two of them walked without speaking for a while, welcoming the silence after the party.

“So…” Bev started after a couple of minutes of silence, “Mind telling me what happened?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be drunk?” Richie tried to avoid.

“I’m starting to sober up. Have been for a while.”

“So then mind telling me what you were doing with Kay?”

“You first.” Richie sighed. He never won in an argument against Beverly, a fact he’d accepted a while ago.

“I threw up all over Eddie while he made out with a girl and then confessed my undying love to him in a bathroom.” Beverly gasped. “It gets worse. He thought I was just messing with his emotions because get this—he’s gay.”

Beverly gave him a look that Richie identified as you’re an idiot. “How did you not know Eddie was gay?”

“Wait, so you knew?” Richie stopped walking, staring in shock at Beverly.

“I mean kinda, he never really told anyone but we all had our suspicions.” Beverly stared at the floor, embarrassed.

“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve ranted to you about how much I love him, and you didn’t think to maybe tell me that Eddie was possibly gay?” Richie was flabbergasted. If Beverly knew, then Bill and Stan probably knew too! They never said a fucking word to him while he poured his heart out to those assholes.

Richie collapsed on the ground and rolled into a ball on his side. Beverly sighed.

“Richie what the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m coping with how shitty my friends are. This is my ball of emotions, you can’t come in,” he muttered.

“Jesus fu— I hate you sometimes.” Beverly sat down on the freezing concrete next to Richie and laid down next to the boy.

“Hey.” Beverly smiled at Richie. “You know that we’re all here for you no matter what, right? We’d never intentionally hurt your feelings, we just didn’t want to get your hopes up in case you got rejected.”

“How did that plan work out, huh?” Richie asked, “Because right now I’m lying in some poor woman’s petunias, high as fuck, and crying. Your “Don’t tell Richie” plan didn’t work out that well, now did it?”

“Yes, but now I get to enact my “Get Richie and Eddie to date” plan.” Beverly combed a finger through Richie’s hair and he leaned into her palm.

“Is this like a 12-step program or…” Beverly snorted.

“It’s however many steps we need.” Richie smiled at her.

“Thanks Bev, I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

“Crying on a sidewalk by yourself, instead of with me.”

“A valid point Miss Marsh, thank you for your input. Now, mind telling me what you and Kay were up to? Be gentle with me, I’m a good Catholic boy who’s saving my virgin ears for Jesus.”

“Pff, shut the fuck up Tozier. We just kissed, if you really want to know.” Beverly blushed a crimson red and began to twirl a strand of hair around her finger.

“Don’t lie to me, I saw Kay. There was some neck action going on there.” Richie grinned at her as she blushed even more. “How do you feel? Suddenly decided you’re a huge lesbian or—”

“No, nothing like that. It was nice, I’ll admit. Different from kissing guys. Guys don’t really think of you, they just mash their lips on yours and then ask if you’re enjoying it. Girls know how to unravel you with one touch.”

Richie imagined a fiery red ball of yarn being tapped by Kay and unraveling all over the ground. He chuckled.

“So? What’s the verdict?”

“I think I’m playing for both teams.” Richie nodded in agreement.

“Why do you think people are so against that?” Beverly asked, “It’s not like I’m murdering anyone, I just happen to like to kiss girls and guys.”

“Some people are just assholes who can’t take the time to think about others for once.” Beverly hummed.

“You ready to get the hell out of here? I think my entire body is frozen solid, you’re going out have to thaw me out,” Richie joked. Beverly laughed and placed a kiss on his forehead.

“C’mon dummy, let's get you into bed.” She pulled Richie up, which never failed to surprise him considering he was much heavier and taller than her. It just reminded him that Beverly was packing some muscle in there. It also reminded Richie to never get on her bad side.

The two of them trudged back to Richie’s house, where they decided to take their chances with the front door instead of climbing. Richie still didn’t have a shirt, which wasn’t a very smart idea considering the fact that they were in Maine and it was the middle of the night.

Richie tried the door and found it unlocked. The two of them looked at each other suspiciously, trying to decipher it’s meaning.

“They probably just forgot to lock it,” Richie whispered. At least, that’s what he hoped.

Wandering into the rest of the house, Richie held his breath. After he walked into the living room, he began to breathe easier. His parents were passed out on the couch with an empty bottle of wine in front of them. Richie took a swig of the wine before offering it to Beverly. She drank, but almost spit it up when his father’s gentle snoring suddenly increased in volume. Richie’s head shot around to stare at him, but the older man just rolled over a bit and resumed his normal, quiet snoring.

Relieved, the two teenagers krept up the staircase. Richie stepped over the creaky step and Beverly followed suit—she had been smuggled in enough times to know the clockwork of his house.

Richie threw his shirt in the wash before jumping into a hot shower; he was almost positive he had given himself pneumonia.

Towling his hair off, Richie wandered into his room. Beverly had passed out spread eagle on his bed, her chest slowly rising and falling. Richie pushed her onto her side with a “Move over dummy” and climbed in next to her. She gave a groan of complaint but didn’t move after that.

~~~

Richie dreamed of a clown. The big shoes big smiles kind of clown. Giving him a big toothy grin, the clown offered a single red balloon to Richie. Looking closer, he realized that if he were to scrape off all the grease paint on the clown he would be staring back at himself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie is pining and Bev’s got a plan.

Sitting up in bed with a jolt, Richie let out a scream. He stared directly into the face of someone covered in white face paint, just like the clown.

“Richie! What the hell dude are you okay?” Richie whipped his head around to look at Beverly. She had been awake for a while; probably stole some of his clothes too. She looked startled, like he had said he was going to die.

Turning his head back to the man, Richie cursed himself internally. It was a stupid KISS poster. He made a mental note to move his posters around.

“Sorry Bevvie, just startled.” Richie ran a hand through his hair and tried to calm down.

“Well be un-startled because your mom made waffles and they’re really fucking good.” Richie grinned. God, he loved Beverly sometimes.

Beverly rolled off of his bed and thumped down the stairs. Richie followed suit, albeit much slower. Reaching the bottom of the staircase, he let out a quiet “G’morning” before grabbing a waffle and biting into it.

“Holy shit Mom these are really good!” Richie announced through a mouthful of waffles.

“Language,” his mom scolded, “And thank you, this is high praise coming from a boy like you.” She turned to Beverly. “He is ever so hard to please,” she sighed.

“I know exactly what you mean, Mrs. Tozier.” Beverly grinned at Richie as he stuck his tongue out at her.

“Well, what do you two have planned for today?” His father asked. Richie beamed. 

His childhood hadn’t been easy; it sucked ass, actually. But five years of marriage counseling later and mostly swearing off of alcohol, Richie could say with certainty that he loved his parents. They had their rough patches, sure, but they tried. And in the end, that’s all that really mattered to Richie.

“I’m so glad you asked, pop! Bev and I have a day full of scandals and debauchery planned, so if you’re looking for some quality time with yours truly, I won’t be able to fit you in today. You could try Tuesday? I’m always free Tuesday.” Beverly rolled her eyes at him.

“Sounds fun,” his mother commented. “Beverly dear, would you like me to wash your clothes for you? I know it’s probably uncomfortable wearing Richie’s trashed clothes every time you sleep over.”

“That would be wonderful, thank you so much Mrs. Tozier.” Beverly smiled at Richie’s mom and took another bite of her waffle.

“Well I’m going to go get dressed, but you three have fun with your girl talk.” Richie sprinted up the stairs to the sound of his father mumbling something along the lines of “Damn teenagers”.

~~~

“So, what do you have planned for Dick and Beaver’s Wonderful Adventures?” Beverly snorted.

“You know I hate it when you call us that.”

“Yes, but it sounds whimsical! Like a fun adventure with animals; the kind that kids watch on TV.”

“If you want to fuck them up, then sure.” Richie gasped.

“Beaver! That doesn’t uphold our messages created by the TV overlords! Remember: be kind to others, don’t take drugs from strangers, and don’t swear! The Three D’s!”

“The only three D’s I know are the ones up your ass, Tozier.” Richie cackled as Beverly walked toe-to-toe on the curb, arms out for balance like a little kid.

“If you must know, we’re going to Eddie’s. Well, you’re going to Eddie’s. To apologize. And hopefully make up and have a cute and possibly sexy make out session.”

“Mrs. K would never let me inside her house except for our Thursday night appointments, you know this Bev!”

“You know how to sneak into a house.”

“Yeah but not in broad daylight, I don’t want someone to call the cops on me.”

“You’ll be fine, no one’s going to assume someone’s being robbed at 10:00 in the morning.” Beverly stepped back onto the sidewalk to match her steps with Richie.

“You’d be surprised, some of Eddie’s neighbors are bonkers.” Beverly laughed.

“Who the hell still says bonkers?”

“I do, Beverly, and if you can’t appreciate that then there’s the door!” Richie gestured vaguely towards the sidewalk in front of him before bursting into laughter alongside Beverly.

She suddenly stopped in her tracks, but Richie didn’t need to ask to know why. He had memorized the path from his house to Eddie’s in third grade.

“Well?” Beverly asked. “Go get ‘em tiger.” Richie growled at her before attempting to casually saunter over to Eddie’s house. The white stucco walls were covered in vines and convenient footholds, perfectly sized for a teenage boy to climb up and confess his love to a teenage hypochondriac who he loved more than himself.

Richie took a breath to reassure himself before beginning to climb. After much swearing and almost falling ass-first onto Mrs. K’s flower beds, he managed to pull himself up to Eddie’s window.

Richie knocked on the glass, unsure of whether or not someone was even inside. The blinds were pulled apart sharply to reveal a shirtless Eddie. His hair was damp from a shower and he had a shirt in hand. Eddie’s mouth hung open as Richie waved frantically before pointing to the window to let him in. Eddie obliged, switching the latch and pulling the window up.

“What the hell are you doing here asshole?” Eddie spit out through gritted teeth. “Didn’t you know I never wanted to see you again in my goddamn life?” Richie held one hand up in surrender.

“Please at least give me a chance to explain myself before you push me off this ledge because I know you can make it look like an accident,” Richie pleaded. Eddie gave a sharp breath out through his nose but relented. He walked away from the window, allowing Richie to climb in.

“So…” Richie dusted off his pants, refusing to make eye-contact with Eddie. “I have a lot of explaining and apologizing to do, so we might want to sit down.” Eddie nodded and plopped down on the foot of his bed. Richie stood there awkwardly for a couple of seconds before deciding to join him.

He took a deep breath in, trying and failing to steady his breathing. “Look, what I said last night? About loving you? That’s completely true, every goddamn word of it. I’ve loved you since I first met you and I still do. Plus if it makes you feel any better I didn’t know you were gay until last night, up until then I was just hoping.”

After a couple moments of silence, Richie risked looking at Eddie. His fists were clenched in his lap as his eyes watered. Richie watched a single tear roll down Eddie’s cheek and plop onto his jeans.

“Do you really mean it?” Eddie asked cautiously. Richie nodded.

“Every word of it.”

With a sniffle, Eddie suddenly leaned his upper body into Richie’s, digging his wet face into his collarbone. Richie was frozen in shock, arms stuck out like he was about to hug someone. After a couple of seconds, he closed his arms around Eddie.

The poor boy was shaking as tears wracked his body. Richie could feel them dripping onto his shirt and pants, but he didn’t mind.

“I’m sorry for making you cry again, it’s okay if you call me an asshole, I deserve it.”

“No don’t worry about it. It’s just, I’ve never had anyone care about me like that before, much less another guy. Sure, the Losers are cool but they aren’t in love with me.”

“Yeah well I’m here to change that, so don’t worry your pretty little head over it.” Eddie hummed and dug his face farther into Richie’s collarbone. He rubbed Eddie’s back in small circular motions, trying to lull the boy. For the first time in a long time, Richie felt at peace.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi I wrote this in Coffee Bean while trying not to cry so have fun. TW: homophobic language

A couple of weeks had passed since Richie and Eddie’s grand confessions, and they had mostly settled into a routine. Most nights Richie snuck through Eddie’s window and into his boyfriend’s waiting embrace. They cuddled and talked most of the time, and on a few memorable occasions, made out. Eddie refused to go any further, and Richie was content with that. Eddie was a hypochondriac with lots internalized homophobia, that didn’t just magically disappear overnight.

Their relationship was mostly secretive, lots of holding hands under tables and secret kisses behind bookshelves in the library. On one occasion they almost got caught by the librarian, but Richie played it off with “We’re roughhousing, y’know, like boys.” The librarian stared at him, unconvinced, before muttering something under her breath and walking away.

They had finally decided to share their relationship with the Losers at a sleepover while marathoning all the Back to the Future movies. Marty’s mom was trying to sleep with him, so obviously Richie thought that was the best time to announce “Eddie and I are dating.”

He was met with a chorus of “We know, you guys aren’t subtle.” Richie and Eddie stared at each other in surprise before giggling and sharing a kiss.

Besides that, most things stayed the same. The Losers hung out together often, buying ice cream from Freese’s and swimming in the Quarry, although now Richie had to be careful. His goddamn hormone-wracked body couldn’t watch Eddie lick an ice cream cone without going wild, and whenever a half-naked Eddie grabbed hold of him while swimming, he felt like he would pass out. So really nothing had changed.

Everything was going better than Richie had expected, until Eddie’s mom found out.

Richie had snuck into Eddie’s room, as per usual, and the two of them crawled under Eddie’s covers to cuddle. Richie had been playing with Eddie’s curls while the smaller boy ranted about some asshole in his health class, wondering how he got this lucky. By some miracle, the two of them had ended up in the same town, the same age, and were both into each other.

Richie had begun to zone out when Eddie’s door burst open with a bang.

Eddie gave a sharp breath in as Richie followed his gaze. There stood Eddie’s mother. She was in her floral nightgown with her hair in curlers, and fuming. Richie swore he saw steam come out of her ears, but it didn’t feel like the right time to joke around.

“Edward Kaspbrak, what in God’s name are you doing?”

Eddie’s mouth moved, but nothing came out except for a tiny croak of “I’m sorry mommy.”

She stormed over to Eddie’s bed and tore off the covers, revealing both boys, their legs entangled. Her eyes zeroed in on Richie. He gulped.

“You nasty faggot! How dare you corrupt my boy, do you know how fragile he is? How willing he is to follow disgusting boys like you?” Richie stared, frozen in shock and fear. He only moved when Eddie let out a sob and wrapped another arm around the boy.

“Please mommy, I’m sorry, please leave him alone.”

Sonia whipped her head down to look at her son. “No Eddie, don’t you dare speak. This nasty boy is corrupting you.” She went back to glaring at Richie. “Up,” she commanded. Richie scrambled out of the bed, following her down the hall. Eddie followed too, holding onto Richie’s hand and walking behind him like a child.

Richie realized that Sonia had begun to dial a number on the phone, and he felt his heart sink. Oh god she’s going to call my parents and they’re going to kick me out because a dead son is better than a queer one. He began to shake as Eddie sobbed into his shoulder blades.

Someone on the other end finally picked up, and Sonia began to spit into the phone before they could say anything.

“Your son is corrupting my little boy so you better drive over here now before I discipline him myself.” She slammed the phone into the wall and turned back to the boys.

“Eddie-Bear you need to get away from him, you hear me?” She lumbered over towards them and tried to pry Eddie away.

Eddie let out a sob and hid behind Richie, gripping his hand even tighter.

“I-I’m not moving.” Sonia gasped.

“Eddie get over here now, do you understand me?”

“I’m not moving mommy you can’t make me move God DON’T MAKE ME MOVE.” Eddie was hyperventilating now, Richie could feel his heart pounding out of his chest and against his back.

“Eddie-Bear,” his mother began, crocodile tears forming at her eyes. “Please baby, you’re making mommy so sad. What would your father think, Eddie? His son, fooling around with some, some perverted boy. And refusing to listen to his mother? Eddie, please, think of your father.”

Richie felt sick. He knew Eddie’s mom was bad, but not this bad. Who holds their dead husband as leverage when arguing with their child? Eddie let out another sob before loosening his grip on Richie’s hand and walking over to his mother.

“Eddie, don’t,” Richie said softly.

Sonia grabbed Eddie’s arm and pulled him behind her, grinning. “You see? Eddie’s a good boy, he won’t be corrupted by the likes of you.”

Richie fell into the nearest seat, defeated. His head fell into his arms as he tried to steady his breathing to no avail. The room was silent except for the sounds of Eddie sobbing and Richie struggling to breathe.

Their symphony of sobbing was broken by a knock at the door, and Sonia pulled Eddie along with her to answer it. Richie looked up to see his parents standing in the doorway. They had thrown coats over their pajamas and his mother looked like she had been crying.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” Sonia plastered a fake smile on her face. “We have some things to discuss.”

~~~

The five of them sat in the living room, Richie and his parents on the couch while Sonia sat in her armchair with Eddie on the armrest. It reminded Richie of Jabba the Hutt and Princess Leia, except less sexy.

Eddie’s sobs had subsided to the occasional tear plunking on the plastic covering of the armchair, and Richie had mostly steadied his breathing. He longed for a joint, or a cigarette, or a drink, or anything that could disconnect him from the current situation.

“So,” Richie’s dad began, “Mind telling us why you brought us here in the middle of the night?” Sonia gave him a forced smile.

“I’m glad you asked. Your son has been corrupting my boy. I found the two of them in his bed, doing God knows what.”

“We were cuddling,” Richie defended. “It was purely platonic.”

“In the middle of the night? Under the covers?” Sonia shot back.

“We get nightmares sometimes, got a problem with that?” Richie glared at Sonia, daring her to respond.

“Richie,” his mom spoke up softly, “Are you gay?” Richie felt his heart stop. He turned to his mom and smiled.

“No, never,” he lied. “Not my cup of tea.”

Sonia turned to her son. “Eddie, did this boy pressure you into homosexual activity? I won’t be mad, baby, I just need to know.” Richie knew she was lying through her teeth, but he stayed silent.

Eddie took a shaky breath in before responding. “Yes mommy.” Richie felt his heart sink. He tried to make eye-contact with Eddie, but the other boy’s gaze stayed fixed on the ground.

“Are you a homosexual?” She asked gently.

“No mommy.”

Richie felt like he would throw up. How could Eddie do this to him? To them? They had been through everything together, how could he just lie to his mom like that? Richie felt his chest tighten as tears threatened to spill onto his lap.

“Richie, is this true?” His father asked. Richie nodded numbly. There was no use in arguing now.

“Well that’s settled,” Sonia said with a smile. “Please take your son out of my house, and if I ever see him here again I will not hesitate to call the cops.”

The three of them stood up silently and walked to the car. Richie climbed into the backseat, not bothering to buckle his seatbelt. The trip home was dead silent. Richie knew that if anyone started talking he would burst into tears.

When they arrived home, Richie climbed the stairs as quickly as possible to get to his room. He climbed under the warm covers, exhausted, and instantly passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhh wasn’t expecting this to happen I just sorta wrote it so if y’all have any suggestions or things you wanna see lmk


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie has a talk with his mom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter’s so short, I only have a loose plan for the story so I never know how long each chapter’s going to be. The next one should be longer??? Idk. But yeah I love Maggie Tozier

When Richie woke up, he knew he was fucked. His alarm read 11:32 AM; if his mom was home she would have already dragged him out of bed for school. Richie hinged his survival of the rest of the day on if.

He rolled out of bed and plodded down the stairs, dreading what might await him.

Reaching the bottom, Richie couldn’t tell if he was pleasantly surprised or terrified. His mom was humming while she busied herself in the kitchen, making breakfast. He rapped on the doorframe and she turned towards him, a surprised look in her eyes.

“Oh Richie, I’m so glad you’re awake,” she gushed, “Sit at the table, breakfast is almost ready.” Richie inched forward before taking a seat. He watched her movements carefully as she flitted around the kitchen. Placing buttered toast and eggs on a plate, she walked over to the table and placed his breakfast in front of him.

“No meat on Fridays,” Richie mumbled.

“No meat on Fridays,” she affirmed. Richie’s family was Methodist, and he wasn’t too sure if he believed in all those bloody stories about babies being murdered and shit, but tradition was tradition. Richie had never eaten meat on Fridays, and he probably never would.

“So.” His mom slipped into the seat across from him, studying his face.

“So?” Richie asked, taking a bite out of his toast.

“So, do you want to talk about what happened last night?” She asked softly. Richie choked on his toast. His throat had suddenly dried up at the prospect of discussing anything with his mom ever again.

“Umm, not really. Thanks for the breakfast but I gotta…go to school.”

“Richard,” his mom said firmly. Richie gulped. She never called him Richard unless it was serious. “We both know you aren’t going to go to school today, so we’re going to sit here while you eat your breakfast and discuss what happened.” Richie sighed, defeated.

“I didn’t pressure him, y’know,” Richie whispered, “We were actually really happy together.” A single tear tracked down his face and plunked onto the table. His mom hummed in agreement. “I guess I understand that he was probably really scared of his mom and panicked, but it hurt. It hurt a lot.”

“Oh Richie,” his mom sighed, “You poor thing.”

With a sob, Richie buried his face in his mom’s shoulder. She held him there, carding her fingers through her son’s hair.

“Were you…” she started, “Are you…”

“I’m not queer,” he told her through tears, “If that’s what you’re asking. At least not fully. I still really like girls, but Eddie, he’s different. Well,” he considered, “I take it back. He’s different in the sense that I’ve never loved anyone like him in the way I have and probably never will. I’ve had crushes on other guys before, but they never work out. Eddie…Eddie was supposed to work out. I wanted it to work out. I guess that’s never going to happen now,” he admitted, defeated.

Richie pulled away from his mom and looked into her eyes. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen her this sad, except maybe when her mom died. She had a look in her eyes, like pity but stronger. He couldn’t quite place it.

“If you really want this to work, you’ve got to give him time,” she advised, “He’s not going to jump into your arms the next time you two see each other.” Richie smiled weakly.

“You seem experienced in this field of relationships,” he joked.

“I’ve dated many men with overbearing mothers, so I guess you could say I’m an expert.” She giggled and he grinned back at her.

“What if he doesn’t show up to school or the Quarry or anywhere we usually see each other?” Richie asked worriedly. “His mother’s locked him up before, I wouldn’t put it past her to do it again.”

“Wait patiently,” his mom replied, “He’ll have more time to think about what he wants too.” Richie gave her a gentle smile.

“Thanks Mom,” he told her quietly.

“Well, what are mothers for, if not to help their children?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you wondering, Richie is canonically Methodist in the book and doesn’t eat meat on Fridays. No one talks about this so I took it upon myself to make it happen.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Losers help Richie cope cause they’re cool like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I wrote this days ago but my dumbass forgot to post it. Also I have the sudden urge to write a ton of shit so idk how often this will get updated, hopefully once a week.

Richie was nervous. Well, that was an understatement. Richie was goddamn terrified. He walked into school on Monday, waiting for someone, probably Henry Bowers, to come up behind him and stab him in the back. No one knew what had happened with him and Eddie, and yet Richie felt like everybody knew.

Clenching his fists in his pockets, Richie walked defensively. Every person who appeared out of the corner of his eye was charging towards him with a knife. Random students walking towards him were Henry Bowers and his gang. Richie swore he saw someone with a mullet and he almost threw up. Then Richie would shake his head and stop in his tracks, realizing that there were no knives and Henry Bowers was nowhere to be seen.

Apparently Richie had stopped too quickly, because someone rammed into his back, causing Richie to fall forward, arms outstretched.

“Shit!” He yelled, before someone grabbed his backpack and pulled him back up. Richie turned around to reveal Stan glaring at him.

“What the hell, what kind of asshole just stops in the middle of the hallway?” Stan asked, disgruntled. Opening his mouth to reply with a joke he hadn’t thought of yet, Richie burst into tears. Stan’s eyes widened in surprise as he started to panic. “Oh shit, uh, c’mon.” Stan grabbed Richie’s arm and hauled him in the direction of the nearest bathroom. He shoved the door open and leaned Richie up against one of the sinks.

Stan began pulling paper towels out of their roll and handing them to Richie, who took them gratefully. Blowing his nose, Richie glanced up to see Stan eyeing him.

“So, are you going to explain what just happened or do I need to pry it out of you?” Stan asked.

“I…” Richie sighed. “Sonia found out. Eddie caved and told her I pressured him, and every person I see feels like Bowers and I really want a joint right now, do you have one? Please tell me you have something Stan I feel like I’m gonna throw up here.”

“I don’t smoke dumbass.” Stan sighed, “I have cough drops, if that does anything?” Richie snorted.

“What about cough medicine?”

“Nope. Just the drops, take ‘em or leave ‘em.” Richie sighed.

“Cough drops don’t do shit, but thanks. I just…I need to get out. I don’t think I can be here today, y’know?” Stan gave him a sympathetic look.

“Yeah I get that.” Stan stared at the tiled floor, eyes fixed on every off colored tile. “Give me ten minutes to find everyone, we can all go down to the Quarry.” Richie’s eyes lit up.

“You’d do that for me?”

“Yeah dumbass, that’s what friends are for,” Stan scoffed, “Meet you outside?” Richie gave the other boy a lazy salute.

“Ten minutes, yessir!” Stan snorted.

“Get out of here before I change my mind.” Richie grinned and made his way towards the door.

“Oh and Richie?” Richie turned around to stare at Stan. The boy was fiddling with the buttons on his polo shirt.

“I’m sorry. About,” Stan waved his hands in the air, “All of this.” Richie gave the other boy a soft smile.

“Thanks Stan the Man, you’re the best.” Richie turned back around, leaving the bathroom.

~~~

Richie stood behind a tree at the front of the school, waiting for the rest of the Losers. He had managed to find a stray cigarette in his backpack and lit it, inhaling the bitter taste of nicotine. He spied everyone walking down the front steps and ambled over to join them. Beverly spotted him first; she dropped her backpack and sprinted over to Richie, enveloping him in her arms.

“Woah Marsh, careful there. Don’t wanna make Haystack jealous.” Beverly snorted and nuzzled his collarbone.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“What for?”

“I’m the whole reason you’re in this mess.” She sniffled and dug her face into Richie’s chest, smearing her tears on his shirt.

“And if you hadn’t interfered, Eds would still hate me,” he assured her. “Trust me, this is the better option.”

“If you say so,” she hummed.

The rest of the Losers crowded around him, offering their condolences. Bill gave him a friendly slap on the back and Richie winced.

“Thanks Big Bill, I think you forced my heart into my throat.” Bill gave a hearty laugh.

“Sorry muh-man, just trying to muh-make the best out of the s-situation. Shuh-should we get going?” Everyone gave a silent nod and walked to their bikes. Richie stuck his cigarette between his lips as everyone biked away from school.

Once they reached the woods, everyone hopped off of their bikes and began pushing them through the foliage. Bill let the others pass him as he walked next to Richie, the only sounds being the crunch of leaves and Richie occasionally blowing out smoke.

“Ah-are you okay?” Bill asked, unprompted. Richie chuckled.

“Define okay.”

“Duh-do you feel l-like throwing yuh-yourself off of a buh-building?” Richie was silent.

“I mean, probably not?” Richie shrugged. “I only just got outed and turned on by the love of my life, no biggie.” He felt his eyes water as he struggled to regain his composure.

“Juh-just tell me if you n-need anything, okay?” Bill asked softly.

“Of course Big Bill,” Richie replied. He felt his chest heat up with happiness; Richie was so glad he had friends to count on through all the bullshit that life threw at him.

“Hey Richie, come jump in the water with me!” Beverly broke Richie’s train of thought as the redhead yelled for him. He smiled, throwing his bike on the ground and putting out his cigarette on the bottom of his shoe.

All around him, his friends were stripping down to their underwear to go swim. Richie tore his clothes off before running to Beverly and grabbing her hand. The two of them grinned at each other before leaping over the cliff and into the freezing water below. Richie splayed his free hand over his face to keep his glasses in place as he let out a scream before hitting the water.

Richie’s head broke the surface to see Beverly doing the same, her red hair plastered to her face. He spit some water at her as she screamed with delight and pushed his head under. Richie grinned, his head fully submerged. He cut through the water to grab at Beverly’s waist and lifted her over his head. She screamed and kicked in the air before he dumped the redhead behind him. Beverly swam back up, gasping for breath.

Their friends splashed down around them, and Richie felt at peace.

~~~

“So, do you maybe want to talk about what’s going on?” Everyone sat in a loose circle on the shore, inching up higher every time the tide lapped at their feet. Richie hummed at Beverly’s question, leaning into her hands as they expertly braided his hair.

“For those at home who have just joined us,” Richie spoke in his radio host voice, “I, Richie Tozier, man of a thousand voices and carrier of a huge dick, just got outed and dumped all in one day.” His friends gasped around him in shock.

“Shit man, are you okay?” Mike asked. “If you ever need to release some tension I have a lot of manual labor with your name on it.” Richie chuckled.

“Thanks Mikey, I’ll think about it.”

“So,” Beverly prompted, “What else happened?”

“Well,” Richie began, “Sonia found us cuddling and majorly flipped out. After calling my parents, she pressured Eddie into saying I forced him into a relationship and that he’s straight.” Beverly’s grip on his locks tightened.

“I’m so sorry, I know you already said it’s not my fault but I just…” Beverly sniffled.

“Hey Bev,” Richie turned to face the sniveling girl and grabbed her hands, “You have nothing to be sorry for, trust me.” Beverly let out a sob and dug her face into his chest. “C’mon Marsh, if anyone’s supposed to be crying right now it’s probably me.”

“Shut up Tozier,” Bev said as she slapped his chest, “I’m crying for you because you refuse to cry.”

“I-if you ever nuh-need a shuh-shoulder to cry on, w-we’re here for you.”

“Thanks Big Bill, I really needed that.”

The six of them sat in silence for a bit before Bev stood up and offered her hand to Richie. “C’mon, we’re gonna take you home.” Richie smiled, accepting her hand.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are okay.

Eddie didn’t show up to school on Monday, or the week after that. Richie had begun to worry for Eddie’s safety and what his mother had done to him. He was terrified that Eddie had been sent to a conversion camp, never to be seen again. What if  _ Richie  _ got sent to a conversion camp? His father didn’t seem very content with the idea of having a queer for a son, and his mother could argue all she wanted but in the end, Wentworth had the final say. Richie resented that fact, but tried to ignore it.

Sometimes Richie would find himself biking past Eddie’s house and stop right in front of it, staring at his bedroom window. He’d wait five, ten minutes for movement, or just some sign that a living, breathing person inhabited that room. In the end, he’d give up and bike away. His one glimmer of hope came when Stan showed up to school the following week.

“He called me,” Stan told the group, “I’m the only person he’s allowed to call. Eddie says it’s because his mom thinks I’m his only good influence or something like that. He hasn’t been able to leave his house and his mom keeps bringing in priests to bless him and shit.”

“Has he mentioned me?” Richie asked hopefully.

“Yeah, actually,” Stan told him, “He told me to tell you he’s sorry.” Richie felt his heart sink.

“That’s it?”

“Sorry, I think his mom told him to get off the phone after that. But he thinks she’ll let him out soon. She can’t keep him in there forever, right?” Richie met Stan’s worried eyes and bit his lip. Richie knew Sonia Kaspbrak, and based on past experiences, the odds of Eddie leaving his house anytime soon were slim.

“Well she can’t think he’s really gay, right?” Beverly asked. “He told her that Richie pressured him, that doesn’t mean that he’s gay.”

“Don’t get my hopes up just yet Miss Marsh.” Richie turned back to Stan. “Will you let us know when he gets out?” It was Stan’s turn to bite his lip.

“Of course, I’ll let you know as soon as I find out.” Richie thanked Stan and excused himself. There was no way Richie could concentrate for the rest of the day.

~~~

One week later, Richie’s home phone started ringing.

“It’s for you Richie,” his mother called from downstairs.

“Coming!” He ambled down the stairs before grabbing the phone from his mother. “What can I do for ‘ya?”

“Richie, he can leave,” Stan’s familiar voice filled Richie’s ears as he felt his knees buckle. Sliding his back down against the wall, Richie sat with his head on his knees.

“Mind repeating that? I don’t know if I heard you right.” Stan sighed.

“Eddie called, he can leave. We’re meeting at Bill’s in 10 minutes. Get your skinny ass over there and talk to your boyfriend.” Richie’s brain felt fried. For once, he had nothing to say.

“I, uh, okay. I’ll be there. Thanks Stan the Man.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Richie waited until he heard the soft ‘click’ of Stan hanging up before pulling himself up into a standing position.

“Mom, I’m going to Bill’s,” he called. Richie didn’t wait for a response before running outside and hopping on his bike, pedaling down the street as fast as his gangly legs would take him.

He didn’t really think as he biked, just let his thoughts bounce around in his head aimlessly. He didn’t need to think of how to get to Bill’s house, it had been ingrained in Richie’s head since age 11.

Pulling into the Denbrough’s driveway, Richie noticed six bikes already strewn in a pile. He threw his bike down next to them and ran up to rap his knuckles on the door. Mrs. Denbrough answered the door and with “Hello Richie, so nice to see you,” before Richie was shouldering past her to the basement. He ran down the stairs and jumped over the last two steps to see his friends strewn about, with Eddie in the middle of them. Their eyes locked across the room, and they sprinted towards each other.

Richie grabbed Eddie and pulled him into a tight hug, trying to touch as much of the smaller boy as possible. Sobbing into each other’s shoulders, Richie rocked them back and forth. They had been apart for so long, touching and being close to Eddie had seemed like a silly fantasy. Now, he didn’t want to let go.

After what seemed like minutes, Richie looked up through watery eyes to glance at his friends. Beverly had started crying, and the rest of his friends looked like they were about to.

“C’mon guys, the waterworks is our job,” he joked through tears.

“Beep beep Richie,” Stan mumbled, digging his face into Bill’s side, causing the taller boy to flush red.

Richie could feel Eddie weakening, so he grabbed the smaller boy’s thighs and lifted him up, carrying him over to the couch. He plopped down and leaned back as Eddie dug his face into his neck. Mike ran his fingers through Richie’s hair as he leaned into the boy’s touch.

“‘M sorry,” Eddie sobbed, “You didn’t deserve that, it’s just she was glaring at me and I panicked and—”

“You shouldn’t have to apologize for a single thing,” Richie consoled, “If anything you should be glad you told her that I forced you.” Eddie looked up at Richie with big brown watery eyes and Richie’s face flushed.

“Why?” He asked, gripping Richie’s sleeves, “Your parents probably hate you now and I doubt my mom will ever let me see you again.” Richie chuckled.

“My mom’s actually been pretty supportive,” Richie admitted, “And if my dad disapproves he’s kept his mouth shut. As for your mom, when has she ever  _ really _ stopped us?” Eddie sniffled and wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

“I, I guess you’re right. Thanks Rich.” Richie smiled as he ruffled Eddie’s hair.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head,” he spoke in a shitty British accent, “Your wonderful boyfriend is here to keep you safe. Wot wot and all that.” Eddie snorted.

“Dumbass.”

“But you love me, Spaghetti, admit it!” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Never, especially when you call me that.”

Richie grinned at his boyfriend before Eddie’s stoic face broke into a smile, leaning forward to press a chaste kiss to Richie’s lips. They were okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess I’m the queen of writing super short chapters, huh? Anyways this is the last chapter cause I got bored, sorry. Might do some one shots in the same universe if I feel like it though. Thanks to whoever’s still reading this, love y’all. Check me out on tumblr @hornyforsharks

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I’m a couple chapters ahead so I might dump all of them here and then vanish for a bit cause I don’t have a consistent writing or posting time.


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